Wake up.

Check twitter to see what my fellow middle class, well of, left wing friends have posted.

Hope none of those scummy working class people have posted anything, as they are all racists and we know what is best for them. If they dare say anything, then we will mock them.

I am feeling good about today as I am going to post how those on benefits are suffering under this Conservative government. I have never met anyone on benefits, but some of my left wing middle class friends told me people suffer.

Go on twitter, and post abuse about a Conservative.

This is how to win people over to Labour. The more abuse I post, and the more I call Conservative voters names, the more, people will know I am right and will do what I tell them.

I am now excited, as a Conservative MP told someone to shut up on Twitter. I will spend the morning saying that she is typical of these heartless people. I am having a nice w*nk as I post.

Must used a new hashtag as I do this. #GetALife #ToryShambles #ToriesOut #resignboris #ResignBorisJohnson.

I think I am going to have another w*nk to my abuse of Boris Johnson. I bet the UK will be Labour now after my posts.

Some scum bag working class person, has said I may be wrong. How dare he. I am looking forward to when we become Communist as he will put shot for these thoughts.

I will look in my handbook of how to handle people on twitter.

1. Ask others to post abuse to him.
2. Post a gif of someone shrug.
3. Call them names.
4. Do not discuss things, but be offensive.
5. Block them.

The handbook clearly states that we should ONLY talk to other left wing, middle-class people on Twitter in an echo chamber.

That is my morning done.

This afternoon I shall go find something that I can be offended by on behalf of someone else.

I think I will go look at some children’s books and see if I can find some connection with something offensive.

I am so important.

I need to go on Twitter and tell others how important I am, and how I am changing the world.

Anyone who does not think I am great and always correct is a racist and a Nazi.

I even have a beard to show that I am an individual, just like my fellow middle class, left wing friends do. Look at me folks with my beard, I am so important on Twitter.

I almost forgot to post how the BBC Question Time is right wing. How dare the BBC ever broadcast anything but my views.

I am worn out, after my day of abusing people on Twitter. It is not abuse though, as I only post abuse about Conservative MP’s and those who support them. I know it is not abuse as we left are the nice people, so whatever we do cannot be abuse.